Be sexually safe this Valentine’s

Don’t let your partner kiss you if they are recovering from a cold sore or ulcer caused by HSV-1 as they can still pass the virus on to you. — AFP

G. vaginalis is the most common bacteria in the vagina and a common cause of bacterial vaginosis. — Filepic

https://youtu.be/2iWShIc3SiI 

 Absolutely amazing video clip... I really appreciate it..... Its an eye opener for our new generation who forget their roots and traditions. That's what have made us retrogress somehow to lead to immoral aspects.... Thumbs up to sender, Sister Swa

 

Being in a monogamous relationship, or abstaining from sex, doesn't necessarily guarantee from sexually-transmitted infection.

 Valentine's day usually invokes the notions of love and romance.

Just imagine, you are on a nice dinner date with your other half and spend the night together in an almost fairytale-like evening.

But this lovely memory soon gets shattered when you or your partner discover unusual symptoms in the genital region.

Suddenly, worry – and even suspicion of each other – fills the atmosphere between the two of you.

And it doesn’t help that it is a topic many people might find difficult to bring up with their partners.

Truth be told, most men and women who are in faithful relationships or who have not had sex before do not expect any unusual symptoms in their genital region.

To suddenly discover a wart, a painful ulcer, or even a smelly and fishy discharge from the vagina, can be distressing.

Whether it’s kissing, skin to skin contact, or vaginal, oral or anal sex, each of these interactions can pose a risk of disease transmission.

But before you jump the gun and start thinking that your partner has cheated on you or lied about their sexual history, hold your horses – he or she could still be innocent!

Here are the top three sexually-transmitted infections (STIs) that one may develop even if you are in a faithful relationship OR have not had sex before.

> Herpes simplex virus (HSV) 1

HSV-1 results in an incurable viral disease commonly known as herpes, which usually causes cold sores and oral ulcers in and around the lips and gums.

These cold sores and ulcers usually cause quite a bit of discomfort, especially when eating.

However, during the recovery stage of the cold sore or ulcer, you will usually not feel anything and may not even remember that you have it.

But it is still infectious at this stage and you may inadvertently spread the virus to your partner while kissing them.

The tricky part comes if you’ve engaged in oral sex with your partner.

Your partner may then develop ulcers around their genital region.

It is a misconception that genital ulcers are exclusively caused by HSV-2 as HSV-1 can also cause such ulcers.

According to the World Health Organization (WHO), about 70% of the world’s population are carriers of HSV-1. The good news is that oral and genital herpes are often asymptomatic (do not have symptoms).

They also do not spread to your partner when there are no active ulcers.

They only flare up when your immune system is weakened and become contagious through contact when an ulcer is present.

Flare-ups can occur once every few months to once every few years, to even once every few decades.

You may experience tiredness, chills, fever and body aches before the painful ulcers emerge, often in the same place either at the genitals or mouth.

It is not all doom and gloom however, as you can get an accurate diagnosis with either a swab test of the active ulcer or a blood test two to three months after an active infection.

Getting a confirmed diagnosis can equip you with knowledge on how to prevent this infection with lysine supplements or by treating any active ulcers with antiviral medicines such as valacyclovir.

If left untreated, these ulcers often get painful, but will eventually recover by themselves after two to three weeks.

> Human papillomavirus (HPV) warts

I know it’s a lot to take in after hearing about HSV, but hang in there as we discuss our next disease: HPV warts.

These are cauliflower-like warts caused by HPV.

There are over 100 strains of HPV.

Apart from the 14 cancer-causing high-risk strains, there are also numerous low-risk strains that cause warts.

HPV warts do not turn into cancer, but are often unsightly and manifest themselves in and around the genital region.

HPV is a very common virus that can be found in a large majority of sexually-active persons.

However, it is often well-controlled by our immune system and does not cause any major symptoms.

HPV can be exchanged between you and your partner during sexual contact.

And when your body encounters a new HPV strain, it can cause the warts to develop.

The good news is that although it is unsightly, these warts are often harmless and can be treated with a variety of options, including creams, freezing with liquid nitrogen, and ablation with heat or electrocautery.

While these warts are easily treatable, a cause of greater concern are the high-risk strains like HPV 16,18 and 45.

These strains affect women more because of their ability to cause cervical cancer.

However, both women and men can protect themselves and their partners by getting vaccinated against these strains.

So fret not if you notice an unusual cauliflower-like lump or wart in the genital region; just speak to your doctor to get it assessed and treated.

> Bacterial vaginosis

Last but not least, one of the biggest causes of a fishy and foul-smelling vaginal discharge is the condition known as bacterial vaginosis.

It occurs when there is an imbalance between the good and bad bacteria in your vagina, and is often caused by the bacteria called Gardnerella vaginalis, the most common bacteria in the vagina. 

In the event of a big build-up of bacteria, it can also cause one to develop symptoms of vaginitis, i.e. inflammation of the vagina, resulting in swelling, pain, and even painful sexual intercourse.

Until now, doctors and scientists do not know the exact mechanism of how this occurs, but sex – with or without condoms – often exacerbates this condition.

This condition can be easily diagnosed with a vaginal swab and treated with a vaginal pessary or oral antibiotics.

If you have read up to here, fret not, today can still be an amazing day for you and your partner – just make sure you practise safe sex and get yourselves tested for STIs as a precaution if you haven’t already.

By Dr Julian Hong who is a general practitioner (GP) in Singapore. For more information, email starhealth@thestar.com.my. The information provided is for educational purposes only and should not be considered as medical advice. The Star does not give any warranty on accuracy, completeness, functionality, usefulness or other assurances as to the content appearing in this column. The Star disclaims all responsibility for any losses, damage to property or personal injury suffered directly or indirectly from reliance on such information.

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CNY reunion dinner: Toss the fish for an ox-spicious start

  An Ox-spicious Spring at Furama this Chinese N ew Year That’s something we can do at home to welcome the Year of the Ox and still hav...

CNY reunion dinner: Toss the fish for an ox-spicious start

 An Ox-spicious Spring at Furama this Chinese New Year

That’s something we can do at home to welcome the Year of the Ox and still have ‘din-dining’ fun with a bit pre-recorded help.

IT’S going to be a cheap Chinese New Year. For one thing, I haven’t even gone to the bank to get new notes for ang pow. Since I won’t be visiting or expecting visitors, there’s no point in preparing the red envelopes.

Despite the amended SOP allowing 15 family members within 10km radius to attend, my reunion dinner will be kept to just seven of us – including my maid – living in the same house. My sisters will not be able to return from Sydney or Singapore this time.

I have hung up my red lanterns, traditional decorative knots, set up vases of pussy willow, silk peonies and peach blossoms and bought baskets of mandarin oranges to make the house more festive.

But there is a hollowness to it. No one has been feeling bullish ever since our infection rates spiked dramatically and the movement control order was reimposed and now extended.

As for the reunion dinner, no one feels like having the traditional steamboat which is best eaten with lots of people. So we will tapau salted egg crabs from our favourite seafood restaurant and I will add a few home-cooked dishes.

Our lou sang dish will be made with the store-bought pickled and preserved ingredients as well as freshly grated daikon, carrots, pomelo and Korean pear. Instead of raw salmon, I am going to try it with unagi, Japanese grilled eel.

This is the thing I miss most this CNY: not being able to meet friends for lunch and dinner and noisily toss the fish. In previous years, I could happily lou sang at least half a dozen times.

My sister who lives in Singapore told me the government has taken a different approach. Dining-in at restaurants is allowed but with strict instructions how it should be done.

She says diners aren’t allowed to remove their face masks except to eat and drink. They put the masks back on to chat after the eating is done.

That is actually the right thing to do. We relaxed our restrictions to allow dining and we assumed we were somehow safe to strip off the mask because we are eating and or drinking. Well, serves our ignorance right. That is probably one of the causes of infections going up and spreading into the community.

I learned of a case in Seoul involving two Covid-19 positive people sitting in a coffee outlet. They were asymptomatic and were in the shop for hours, working on their laptops, sipping their coffee with their masks off.

By doing so, they became super-spreaders to many others who were also unmasked and sharing the same enclosed space. What is interesting and telling is that none of the waiters and staff who were masked all the time got infected.

That’s why Singapore’s Health Ministry’s SOP for diners this CNY is as follows:

“Those who are dining out should make sure they wear a mask if they are not eating or drinking. We already do not allow singing (including by diners) and other live performances at F&B establishments and work-related events where food is served.

“Diners should also avoid raising their voices, at all times. This also means that face masks must be worn during the tossing of yusheng (raw fish), and that the lohei (tossing of the fish and the other ingredients in the dish) should be done without any verbalisation of the usual auspicious phrases.

“F&B establishments and enterprises serving lohei must ensure that both the staff and patrons comply with these requirements.”

That does take the joy and fun out of the lohei ritual because we loud, noisy Chinese do love “din-dining” but there is a good reason for the ban. Research already shows that when we sing or shout, our spit droplets fly much wider and further.

But an enterprising Singaporean vlogger has loaded a video on YouTube entitled Auspicious Lohei Sayings and Prosperous Wishes With One Minute of Huat Ahh! that you can play for some festive noise.

I think it’s a good idea to resort to playing the video even when we lohei at home with family members.

If you are not happy with the video’s sound effect, I suppose you can prerecord your own auspicious phrases with CNY music in the background and maybe the sound of firecrackers going off too.

Singapore’s SOP goes further: Since Jan 26, “To further mitigate the risk of large community clusters arising from infections that spread within a household and through them to all their contacts, we will impose a cap of eight distinct visitors per household per day. Individuals should also limit themselves to visiting at most two other households a day, as much as possible.”

As my sister mused, is this enforceable? Probably not. That’s why the SOP appeals to everyone to cooperate with the new measures.

That’s the best all of us, whether in Singapore, Petaling Jaya or Sydney, can do. Respect proper mask wearing, maintain physical distancing and spend as little time as possible in one place, especially if it’s an enclosed space. Avoid crowds and wash those hands frequently!

Meanwhile, like everyone else, I will breathe a sigh of relief on Friday when we see the last of the Rat and we usher in the Year of the Niu. Niu is the Chinese character that generally refers “to cows, bulls, or neutered types of the bovine family, such as common cattle or water buffalo”, says Wikipedia.

Somehow, when it comes to naming the Chinese new year, the English translation of niu is ox and not cow or bull. We don’t say “year of the cow” or “bull”.

Yet, the popular image of the niu depicted on greeting cards and ang pow envelopes, of mall decorations, is that of a bull poised to charge with mighty horns, full of power and virility.

Indeed, the bull figures in many cultures, worshipped as a god and the ancestor of kings in several ancient civilisations.

But it is the domesticated, humble cow/bull/ox that has served humankind much more. For thousands of years, as oxen, they have been harnessed to plough fields, thresh and grind grain, pull carts and other heavy loads. For that purpose, oxen are usually castrated – and therefore more docile – cattle. As cows, they provided milk and as cattle, were slaughtered for their meat and hides.

In Chinese culture, the niu is seen as good-natured, hard-working, dependable and associated with good harvests and fertility. It has been anthropomorphised to have the qualities of gentleness, loyalty and trustworthiness.

According to Jupiter Lai, a Chinese astrologer quoted by The Japan Times, 2021 is the Year of the Metal Ox with the earth element, “representing stability and nourishment” which is exactly what the world needs now.

The world was driven crazy by the devious Rat whose year was fuelled by its yang energy. The Ox will bring in much needed yin energy to calm things down. At least that’s what the fortunetellers are saying. And very carefully at that.

I actually find it quite amusing that all the feng shui and Chinese horoscope websites seem to be very cautious in predicting what’s in store in 2021. I know of none who got it right for 2020.

Even without the soothsayers telling us, we know there will be long and difficult months ahead. But for the next week or two, let’s try to uplift our spirits, give thanks for a brand new year and pray for everyone’s health.

Stay vigilant! Gong Xi Fa Cai!

By June H.L. Wong -The views expressed here are the writer’s own.

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Danger of the single story

SOMETIMES (most of the time) it’s probably wiser to resist commenting on Facebook posts.

In the last week or two there have been posts, written by two Facebook friends, about women who admit to regretting having children. You can imagine the responses, including to my comments saying that I can relate to such feelings. It’s just not the done thing to admit that parenthood may not be the smartest choice you’ve made.

We go on about how it’s OK to make mistakes, but heaven forbid that the mistakes should be baby-shaped. I may be wrong but it also feels like that it’s especially shocking if a woman says that she’s doesn’t like being or doesn’t want to be a mother.

Why, she might as well be admitting to infanticide.

Why am I bringing this up in a column about books for children and teens? It’s because I think books play a part in shaping the way society views girls and the women they grow up to be. For girls, it’s hard to avoid the traditional stereotypes of women as mothers and wives.

Look, even kick-ass Katniss in The Hunger Games Trilogy ends up with a partner and a child. And most of my favourite fictional female characters become wives, or at very least, fall in love by the final page of their stories.

Now I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with falling in love, marrying and having children, but I am saying that authors should portray alternative routes to a happy and fulfilled life. I’m trying hard to think of fictional heroines who skip happily into the sunset, alone and joyful, but right now I can only think of Tove Jansson’s Little My, Astrid Lindgren’s Pippi Longstocking, and two nannies: Mary Poppins, the titular character from P.L. Travers’ books, and Nurse Matilda from the trilogy by Christianna Brand.

All four are decidedly unconventional females, but My and Pippi are just children, while Mary and Matilda, although unmarried and childless, are still given the traditionally female role of care-giver.

Even my beloved harum scarum Jo March (from Little Women) becomes totally domesticated, marrying an older man (in Good Wives), running a school and playing mother to a whole brood of children (in Little Men and Jo’s Boys) and committing the unforgivable sin of keeping an ex-student and her niece, Bess, apart because she feels the working-class lad is not a suitable match for the prissy young lady.

There is Nan, a young girl in Little Men, who remains unmarried and goes to medical school, but characters like her are rare and don’t get much space on the page.

New fiction continues to be full of female characters who spend a great deal of time wondering when their prince will come. Codename Verity is a recent exception, but the girls in that book seemed more interested in one another than in men. It’s as if lesbians are the only women who might safely avoid being married with children.

In fact, as I’ve mentioned earlier, young women who don’t desire motherhood and marriage are often viewed as freaks. It’s unlikely the authors of young adult and children’s fiction think this way, but they are, by and large, products of a world still very much fixed in its ideas of gender and gender roles. Also, romance (and sex) sells.

The problem is, of course, what Nigerian novelist Chimamanda Adichie calls the “danger of the single story”: if just one version of something – a people, a culture, a religion, etc – is portrayed then it soon becomes the only version that is believed and accepted and taken for granted as the truth. The “danger of the single story” is that it creates and reinforces stereotypes.

So, in terms of describing what girls want, it just supports the already firm belief that we are naturally maternal creatures who crave the love of a good man (or any man, really) and the cosy feeling of a child at our breast ... or simply being asked to the prom and being kissed by the time we’re 16.

I’ve just thought of a female character who resists the conventions of marriage and motherhood to go to university: Mattie Gorkey from Jennifer Donelly’s A Gathering Light is more interested in reading than dating. For Mattie, words are the key to a new life and to freedom. I wish there were more female characters like Mattie.

Also, more female characters who have more interesting things to think about than romance; female characters who grow up and don’t get married and are happy; female characters who choose to be childless and never regret it. These women exist, we know they do, they just need to appear more in books, that’s all.

Tots to Teens
By DAPHNE LEE
>Daphne Lee is a writer, editor, book reviewer and teacher. She runs a Facebook group, called The Places You Will Go, for lovers of all kinds of literature. Write to her at star2@thestar.com.my.

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