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Showing posts with label parenting issues. Show all posts
Showing posts with label parenting issues. Show all posts

Wednesday 13 January 2016

Father's diet has effect on health, weight of his children, new studies show

 
Two independent studies by teams in China and North America have found evidence to suggest that a father's diet can influence the health and weight of his children. — AFP pic

Two independent studies by teams in China and North America have found evidence to suggest that a father's diet can influence the health and weight of his offspring.

Published in the journal Science, both studies looked at the effects of different diets of male mice on their offspring.

The first study, by a group of researchers in China, took sperm from two groups of mice, one receiving a high-fat diet and one receiving a normal, healthier diet, and used it to impregnate female mice. Once the offspring were born, the team monitored their weight, level of glucose intolerance and insulin resistance.

The results showed that although the offspring of the males who were fed the high-fat diets did not gain more weight than the offspring fed the normal, healthier diet, they did show a decreased resistance to insulin and a glucose intolerance, both factors in the development of diabetes.

In the second study, researchers from the US and Canada instead fed mice a low-protein diet and compared the results to a control group. In their study, the team found changes to a group of genes responsible for the development of stem cells, which in early life can develop into many different types of cells within the body, as well as repair and replace body tissue; however, no other changes were found.

The results go against the previous assumption that the only impact males have on their offspring is from their DNA, and support the findings of other recent studies which suggest that the diet and lifestyle habits of males, like females, can have an important effect on their offspring's health.

A 2013 study by McGill University found that when male lab mice had a diet that was low in vitamin B9, also known as folate, they fathered offspring with a 30 per cent higher rate of birth defects, compared to the offspring of mice who had consumed sufficient amounts of folate.

The results led the team to conclude that although women are often encouraged to take folic acid supplements to reduce the risk of miscarriage and birth defects, “(the) research suggests that fathers need to think about what they put in their mouths, what they smoke and what they drink and remember they are caretakers of generations to come.”

A 2014 study from the University of New South Wales in Sydney, Australia, also showed similar results when the team of researchers mated two groups of male rats with slim, healthy female rats. One of the groups of male rats was fed a high-fat diet, while the other received a normal, healthy diet.

The results showed that the offspring born to the obese fathers who were fed a high-fat diet showed a genetic predisposition for obesity and changes to the pancreas, the organ responsible for producing insulin and regulating blood sugar levels, both important factors in diabetes.

And in the first study to be conducted on humans, after collecting medical information from both parents, as well as DNA from the umbilical cords of newborn babies, a team from Duke University, USA, found a link between obesity levels in fathers and an increased risk in their children developing health-related cancers. — AFP=Relaxnews

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Saturday 31 October 2015

China ends one-child policy, are you ready for another child?

China to allow two children for all couples


http://english.cntv.cn/2015/10/30/VIDE1446156842305273.shtml
http://english.cntv.cn/2015/10/31/VIDE1446246722803731.shtml




Dialogue 10/30/2015 One-child policy ends

Are you ready for another child?

Most young couples can provide the best learning and growth environment for only one child. When you decide to have another child, you should plan your budget in advance. If you or your parents can’t take care of your baby, you have to at least spend an extra 5000 yuan per month to hire a nanny. If the gender of your new baby is different from your first one, you have to prepare another bedroom. If you want to send your kids to study abroad, you have to save another 1 million yuan. I think most young Chinese couples cannot afford the expense.
Are you ready for another child?
A girl with her younger brother. [Photo by Wang Nina/Provided to chinadaily.com.cn]
Bcnu (US)
If you aren't terribly happy parenting one child –don’t have the second. Two is more than twice the work, there's no guaranteeing they'll share interests; they could very well fight or want to head off in completely different directions. If you find you love the second one more than the first, I don't see how that could possibly make life simple, as children are very sensitive to that sort of thing. Having a second child will also extend the number of years until your nest will be empty again.
It's very unrealistic to expect that you will love your second child if you're having trouble loving the first. My advice is to take care of yourself and take time for your love for the first child to relax and grow before even thinking about having a second child.
Are you ready for another child?
A couple with their two children in this file photo. [Photo by Li Chuanping/Asianewsphoto]
Luciana (UK)
Being a one-child family allows me to keep a good balance between my family life and my job. It gives me the joy of being a mother, but it’s not too overwhelming to the point where I don't have any time for myself or my husband. Financial barriers were also a factor in my decision. With a mortgage, and two cars, we have to be a two-income family. Having another child is financially just not an option for us.
Are you ready for another child?
The two-child policy was put into practice in early 2014 and did not lead to a baby boom in many provinces in China. [Photo by Zou Zhongpin/for China Daily]
Steven (US)
Sometimes we make some choices not because we prefer them but because we have no other choices to make. The twists and turns of life always narrow your choices or eliminate them completely. I always thought having two kids sounded perfect. But when my daughter was born with life-threatening health problems I know she would be my only kid. Raising our daughter was going to take a lot of emotional, physical, and financial resources. If I had any more children, I didn't think I could handle it.
Are you ready for another child?
He Shaodong (L) and his wife Zhou Jun show their birth certificate for a second child in Hefei, capital of east China's Anhui province, Feb. 14, 2014. [Photo/Xinhua]
William (China)
Under the one-child policy carried out in China for three decades, many kids are spoilt by their parents. The “litter emperors” have no idea of sharing and giving and many of them even become self-centered. If we have another child, the first one will learn something about responsibility, sharing and caring for others.
Are you ready for another child?
A girl poses for a photograph at a commercial area of downtown Shanghai, in this November 28, 2012. [Photo/Agencies

- China Daily

Friday 8 May 2015

Singapore is Asia's best place to be mum, peoples back to being courteous & gracious

 
A class for mothers carrying babies here. Singapore was ranked ahead of the next-best Asian countries South Korea and Japan in the latest Mothers' Index. This rates countries based on five indicators relating to maternal health, children's well-being, education, income levels and the political status of women. -- ST PHOTO: KUA CHEE SIONG

Singapore is the best country in Asia to be a mother.

The Republic came out tops in the region in an annual index released by international aid agency Save the Children and was also ranked 14th worldwide, well ahead of the next-best Asian countries South Korea and Japan in 30th and 32nd spots.

Singapore moved up from 15th spot worldwide last year but short of its 2002 best of 13th.

Norway topped the international chart, beating last year's winner Finland, while the United States was 33rd.

The 16th annual Mothers' Index, released on Monday, rates 179 countries based on five indicators relating to maternal health, children's well-being, education, income levels and the political status of women.

Singaporean women have a one in 13,900 risk of dying in childbirth while the infant mortality rate here is 2.8 deaths per 1,000 live births.

Gross national income per capita is US$54,040 (S$72,000). For these three measures, Singapore was placed among the top 10 countries globally.

But its ranking was pulled down by weaker performance in the educational and political arenas.

Children are expected to complete about 15.4 years of formal schooling here and a quarter of seats in the government are held by women.

In comparison, Norway recorded a national income of US$102,610. Political participation of its women is close to 40 per cent and children are expected to finish 17.5 years of school.

The US' poor showing is partly due to its high risk for maternal death - one in 1,800, the worst level in any developed country.

Ms Sylvia Choo, director of the National Trades Union Congress (NTUC) Women's Development Secretariat, said Singapore has done well because of its strong investment in education and in ensuring that medical care remains accessible.

Since 2000, Singapore has cut its risk of maternal death by over 75 per cent, from one in 3,500 to one in 13,900.

Other experts say the findings, while commendable, should not be a reason for complacency.

They pointed out that the index tracks only parameters such as wealth, education and healthcare and does not take into account other pertinent issues specific to developed economies.

"It does not address the parent-friendliness of workplace policies, culture and practice," said Ms Jolene Tan from the Association of Women for Action and Research (Aware). "Some countries ranked lower on the index such as the United Kingdom and Ireland have much more generous parental leave than Singapore.

"It also doesn't consider security of employment. A mother who returns from maternity leave to find her position terminated has little recourse in Singapore, but she can invoke legal protection such as unfair dismissal claims in jurisdictions such as Canada, the UK and Ireland - all ranked less highly in this report."

Save the Children's chief executive Carolyn Miles said the data confirmed that a country's economic wealth is not the sole factor leading to maternal happiness, but also that policies must be put in place to support mothers.

In the case of Norway, "they do have wealth, but they also invest that wealth in things like mothers and children as a very high priority", said Ms Miles.

Ms Yeo Miu Ean, president of Women Empowered for Work and Mothering, said the fertility rate here remains low because some women want to avoid the dilemma of having to choose between work and children.

"They do not want to give their children the time or energy that is left over from work," she said.

National University of Singapore sociologist Tan Ern Ser agreed.

"Compared with the Nordic countries, we still need to catch up on gender inequality in terms of shared childcare responsibilities and work-life balance."

By Janice Tai The Straits Times/Asia News Network, jantai@sph.com.sg

Singaporeans back to being courteous, survey shows

AFTER two years in which it seemed Singapore was becoming a less gracious country, one social barometer suggests it is back on its best behaviour.


The Singapore Kindness Move­ment (SKM), which has been releasing the annual Graciousness Index since 2008, revealed yesterday that the country scored 61 out of 100 this year, matching the highs it hit in 2010 and 2012.

It is a big jump from last year’s score of 55 and the record low of 53 in 2013.

The index measures “behaviour consistent with social standards and expectations based on the time, place and people around” and polled 1,850 people, including foreigners, between last December and February.

SKM general secretary Dr William Wan said: “If we as a nation continue this positive trend, kindness and graciousness can become part of our norms and national identity.”

He added that more stories of kindness were being reported on social media, while mainstream media had been highlighting disaster relief efforts.

Scores for people’s experience and perception of graciousness told different stories in the index.

They were asked if they had received, done or witnessed “a random act of kindness” in the six months before they were polled.

Scores in this component fell but were offset by improvements in the perception ratings, with respondents rating themselves and others higher when it came to being considerate, courteous and showing appreciation.

About 44% polled felt Singapore had become more gracious, up from 28% last year.

Asked who was responsible for making Singapore a gracious place to live in, more than seven in 10 respondents pointed to the Government, while six in 10 said themselves.

Dr Wan said the Education Ministry had an important role in fostering character development.

“I’d like to see 80% or 90% of people saying ‘kindness can start with me’,” he said. “We must take ownership.”



The SKM also studied attitudes towards neighbourliness and parenting.

Over 40% wanted more neighbourliness in their communities but among this group, fear and awkwardness were cited as stumbling blocks.

Nearly six in 10 respondents, including non-parents, felt parents did not lead by example when it came to being gracious.

Senior marketing manager Joyce Teng, 53, agreed that it was important for parents to be good role models.

Her daughter Emily founded Blessings in a Bag, which sends donated clothes and school supplies to the needy in Asia.

Teng said: “Instilling the qualities of kindness and giving is our responsibility as parents. I’m proud to see that Emily is now leading by example.” — The Straits Times / Asia News Network

How can Singapore improve its graciousness? Chief of Singapore Kindness Movement has some tips
By Priscilla Goy, The Straits Times, 6 May 2015

Singapore scored 61 out of 100 in the latest Graciousness Index released on Tuesday. The Straits Times asked Dr William Wan, general secretary of the Singapore Kindness Movement what areas Singaporeans can improve in.

Public debate - It appears to me that we have not learned to engage each other in real constructive debate. In choosing our sides of an argument, we neglect to listen and seem unable to consider viewpoints that run contrary to our own, and the next inevitability follows: name-calling, abusive statements, or worse. And to say the least, that is most ungracious! This behaviour is also not unique to the online space, but can also spill over into everyday life.

Road users - Other than giving up seats on public transport which has improved every year, every other behaviour related to transport or road usage falls below 6. Our partners like the Land Transport Authority and the public transport organisations have now taken the lead in continuing to encourage more improvement in public transport behaviour, and we have gladly taken a supportive back seat.

Our plans going forward include seeking out partnerships with bodies or associations dealing with private road users such as motorists, cyclists, pedestrians.

Cleanliness/environment - We should treat our shared public spaces (our nation!) in the same way we treat our own homes. It's not just about litter, it can even be as basic as the unhygienic scraps we tend to leave behind at hawker centre tables. We wouldn't do that in our own homes, would we? Even if we had a domestic helper, we would ensure that the mess is cleaned up immediately.

And when asked what is one area that could help Singapore make a big improvement in its graciousness index score?

Neighbourliness - While our findings are quite positive about the current state, we also see the desire for more neighbourliness, but some uncertainty, fear or awkwardness on how to get started. If we live in comfortable and positive neighbourhood environments, it will be just so much more pleasant for us. And we will take that positivity and pleasantness to other people in other shared public spaces.

The Graciousness Index has continued to move up, from 53 in 2013 to 55 in 2014, and to 61 in 2015. This year’s rise is led by a growing sense of positive perceptions about kindness and graciousness in Singapore, with respondents rating both themselves and others higher when it comes to being considerate, courteous and showing appreciation. Read more: http://kindness.sg/blog/2015/05/05/graciousness-index-shows-further-improvement/

Wednesday 28 May 2014

Virgin killer was adored




'Unloved' killer was adored

For someone who felt unloved and wanted revenge for that, Elliot Rodger was a much-loved child.

His Malaysian-born mother Ong Li Chin thought the world of her children, her good friend from Penang, Helen Yap said.

Yap, a well-known music producer and composer, knew Ong from their days together in Pulau Tikus on the island.

“Li Chin would always sign off her name as well as her children’s names in Christmas cards,” she said.

Foreign wire reports stated that Ong hurried to try to stop her son from carrying out his death wish. She searched frantically for her son after he posted a 140-page document “My Twisted World – The Story of Elliot Rodger” on Friday.

In it, he had lamented about how women did not like him and wanted to take revenge on them. The 22-year-old also expressed frustration at still being a virgin.

Elliot Rodger in a picture taken from his Facebook page.

He later went out and stabbed three people to death before gunning down three others.

“We were all devastated upon learning about the tragedy. It came as a shock,” Yap added.

Yap also said Rodger would have been a hit with the girls had he grown up in Malaysia.

Although Ong and other schoolmates grew apart over the years, Yap said they had always felt a special attachment towards each other.

She added that they only found out through the media that Elliot had been seeing a therapist from the age of eight.

Another of Ong’s schoolmates, who did not want to be named, said that like most children, Rodger wanted to do things his way.

Ong Li Chin with Elliot’s sister Georgia.

She recalled that the boy had refused to take his shoes off when he was entering a house in Penang.

Rodger, who was born in England and grew up in United States, was not accustomed to the Malaysian culture of being barefoot in the house.

“That is all I remember about him when his mother brought him to Penang for a holiday when he was about 10 or 11,” she said. (According to his own document, Rodger was 13 when he visted Penang).

Ong, now 53, had brought her son and daughter to visit Penang many years ago.

She then posted in a Penang website about her visit to Penang with her children, Elliot and Georgia.

“After being all around the world, having lived in the UK and now in Los Angeles, working alongside famous Hollywood figures – I can truly say you guys over there in Pulau Tikus still have ... my fondest memories,” she wrote.

Contributed by Sira Habibu The Star/Asia News network

Related stories:

 Elliot Rodger and mom Ong Li Chin

Elliot recounts memories of Penang in last document

Ong raced against time trying to stop son from fatal mistake

Thursday 8 August 2013

Crime is very real in everyday situations - cop robbed of his mobile phone!

TODAY, crime is happening not only in back alleys or in the dark but under broad daylight and even at one’s doorstep.

Concerns that the crime rate is on the rise are not unfounded. It is certainly no longer a perception. Now, it doesn’t pay to be an early bird. The early bird may not get the worm, but trouble.

The same goes for the night owls as trouble may await them. It is not advisable to go out after 9pm unless it is an emergency.

Gone are the days where teenagers could run errands safely for their parents.

A report about a policeman being robbed of his mobile phone “Robber hits cop on the head and makes off with smartphone” (The Star, July 27) is also disturbing.- see below

I feel our police force should be given refresher training to beef up their defence skills.

In case of being attacked, they should be able to fight off their attackers even if they are armed.

If the cops are not able to ward off the attackers, what about us, the ordinary laymen on the street, who depend on them to protect and safeguard us.

Cops who are obese, for example, should be given top priority to attend such courses. They should undergo a diet and exercise regimen to trim down their waistline.

In the end, they should be able to chase after the criminals without running out of breath.

Being fit is not only good for them but also for those who care for them. Remember, health is wealth.

Malaysia is truly a land of opportunity for those who work hard to earn their living the legal way and also for those with evil intentions.

Much needs to be done to tackle crime. In the meantime, always be alert and take the necessary precautions to avoid any untoward incident.

TAKE CARE Putrajaya

Robber hits cop on the head and makes off with smartphone

KUALA LUMPUR: A policeman suffered a huge gash on his head after an armed robber hit him with a metal rod and stole his smartphone.

The incident occurred when the policeman, who is in his 20s, was having supper at a restaurant at Setapak yesterday.

Sentul OCPD Asst Comm Zakaria Pagam said the suspect, armed with the metal rod, had attacked the off-duty policeman at around 2am.

“The constable is attached to the Sentul Motorcycle Patrol Unit. He was not in uniform during the incident,” he told reporters at the City police buka puasa function in Putrajaya yesterday.

He said the suspect had hit the policeman with the rod before demanding that he hand over his smartphone.
“When the policeman refused, the suspect hit him on the head again. The policeman then got into a scuffle with the suspect before being overpowered,” he said.

ACP Zakaria said the suspect ran off with the smartphone towards an accomplice waiting nearby on a motorcycle.

“The policeman was rushed to Hospital Kuala Lumpur where he received more than 20 stitches for the gash on his head,” he said, adding that the case was being investigated as causing hurt in an armed robbery.

He urged anyone with information on the case to contact the police hotline at 03-2115 9999 or visit the nearest police station.

 By AUSTIN CAMOENS - The Star/Asia News Network

Related posts:

Saturday 13 July 2013

Let children be children

Parents have to be more cautious and keep a close eye on their kids to protect them from negative influences.

Naughty teddy: A scene from Ted. Despite featuring a cuddly teddy bear, this is not a movie you should expose your kids to.

AFTER a hectic couple of weeks full of shows, I spent last weekend celebrating friendships, both old and new. I had a massive BBQ party for friends who had helped in preparing for the shows and projects to thank them all for their support, friendship and big hearts. The party was also a farewell of sorts for a wonderful and dear old friend of mine.

Due to my busy schedule, I’ve been missing out on much needed quality time with the important people in my life. As with all parties, not everyone was able to make it, but this didn’t prevent me from having a blast. It was fantastic to see everyone enjoying themselves, chatting, drinking and eating. Of course, saying farewell to my dear friend was quite heart-wrenching, but we still managed to share many laughs. Even my children enjoyed the evening playing with their old friends and making new ones.

Aside from the usual party banter and gossip about people we knew, lots of memories were relived; we caught up with current news and just generally had fun. One topic that seemed to dominate the evening was how fast our children were growing up. This got me wondering, whose fault is it really? Is it because of the advanced technologies they are exposed to these days ... or rather the fault of parents?

I have heard horrifying stories of under-aged children – sometimes as young as 12! – who are having sex, often without protection, and their parents are OK with this behaviour. Some European friends say this is pretty common for them. In fact, research has shown that over the past 50 years, the number of teenage girls who are sexually active has quadrupled! Unfortunately, this kind of behaviour is no longer contained within the West and becoming more rampant even here in Asia. Personally, I cannot begin to understand this but it seems more people have begun to accept that it is normal for teens to be sexually active.

A while back, I was watching a documentary about traditional weddings, which highlighted arranged marriages involving children, especially among minority tribes. This documentary shared the story of four sisters who got married at the same time, the youngest of whom was only four! According to some traditions, if a boy of that age isn’t married yet, he will bring shame to his family. It’s sad to think that this practice continues to exist in this day and age.

I know for a fact that my grandparents had an arranged marriage. Grandma used to tell me how many of her friends back then were arranged to be married even before they were born. But circumstances were different then.

I guess in certain communities where marriage is seen as economic security for girls, things are different. But in societies like ours, where girls have every opportunity to create their own financial security, children are still maturing too quickly. And I feel both parents and technology have played a role.

Technology has become so accessible, allowing kids to be exposed to sites they shouldn’t be viewing. And parents are not monitoring what their children view online. I have even heard of parents watching pornographic movies in the same room as their young children! Children these days are smart and they learn fast.

They are also impressionable, and being exposed to this sort of film would make them think this behaviour is acceptable and that it’s okay for them to imitate it. Scary!

Even movies these days expose young children to unsuitable words and images. Stories that seem innocent enough for young kids are often laced with topics that are too mature for them. Take the movie Ted, which was released not too long ago. I actually contemplated taking my children to watch it because I was under the impression, from the posters that I had seen, that it was simply about a young boy and his teddy bear.

Luckily, I went online to check out the trailer and reviews. The movie was full of obscenities and actions that I definitely would not have wanted my young children to watch.

So, yes, in a way the Internet is great as it allows us to access useful information so much easier and faster. However, if not used properly, it can open Pandora’s box of elements we want to keep away from our kids. I was told by a friend that even adding filters to websites is not completely fool-proof. There seems to be no way around this one – we are living in a very advanced world where all sorts of data, including the unsavoury kind – have become very accessible. This makes the world a very scary place indeed, especially in terms of young children and teenagers.

Even TV channels, such as MTV, present girls in revealing clothes and seductive dance. Too many little girls will therefore think that dressing and behaving in that fashion is “cool”. It makes me sick when I see so many girls these days acting much more mature than they are. I also feel sorry for our children, the future leaders of our world, to have been injected with such unnecessary images in their heads from such a young age.

I’m not sure how we can help change this world to be a better place for our children. It will definitely be a tough mission, but it’s vital that we try anyway. We just have to be more cautious and keep a close eye on our kids’ daily activities to protect them from negative influences.

It’s important that we show them happy movies and stories, and preserve their childhood for as long as possible. Childhood is the most carefree and happy time they will ever have. Let’s not rob our children of this wonderful, innocent experience.

It really is difficult being parents today, but we can only try.

 Mel’s Place by MELINDA LOOI

Award-winning fashion designer Melinda Looi tries to marry consumerism and materialism with environmental consciousness, and believes her greatest creations are her children. Follow her on Facebook or write in to star2@thestar.com.my.

Saturday 15 June 2013

What do fathers want?

FATHER’S Day is this Sunday and the “Sweet and chocolaty message for fathers” in The Star the other day has prompted me to put on my thinking cap on what a father wants for his children, the generations to come, and the fathers themselves.

After being a father for close to two decades, it sets me to think for the first time what is treasured most in my life as a father. Children. They are more than apples of my life. They are God’s most precious gifts that have been entrusted to my care.

Every aspect of their development, such as their health, education, emotional and spiritual growth, brings great joy to me. A father’s responsibilities are burdensome but worthwhile and rewarding.

Among them, education tops the priorities and this includes enrolling one in Austin Heights Private and International School and another in Singapore Polytechnic.

The decisions, though incurring a huge financial commitment, become easier after deliberating on their strength and weaknesses in studies.

Discipline comes in whenever necessary for sparing the rod will spoil the brats to achieve academically. The endeavour to nurture them requires, other than discipline, love and care plus lots of patience.

During school breaks, they are pampered with a holiday, either locally or once in a blue moon, an overseas trip, to enrich their lives and at the same time strengthen the family bond.

Most fathers desire a peaceful and politically-stable country for the children to grow up.

Political stability is important to ensure sustained socio-economic growth which promises brighter job prospects for their children.

Some parents, like me, are in our early 50s and very soon, our generation will be over but to our children and the future generations, it is just the beginning.

So, it is all the more crucial for our young people to be brought up in a society that is conducive and harmonious.

The country should also be free from political bickering and in-fighting for these will distract the leaders who are mandated by the rakyat to prioritise the country’s development, which includes seeing through policies like the Economic Transformation Programme and Iskandar Malaysia to fulfil the high-income nation status and Vision 2020.

Many views have also been expressed by various stakeholders, especially the PAGE and lately, Datuk Seri Wong Chun Wai, to emphasise more on the English language, to enable our children to be competitive in this globalised world.

Mutual trust, neighbourhood security, transparency and efficiency in the delivery system and public accountability should prevail in a society that treasures meritocracy much more than ethnicity.

A desirable society values diversity in religion, custom and belief that are part and parcel of a multi-racial community. It is also a nation where the leaders lead by example and walk the talk of the 1Malaysia concept in their daily lives, and not only when the general election is around the corner.

The proverb “behind every successful man there is a woman” depicts the importance of a wife to the father and the children. Her role in a family is further highlighted in “home sweet home”, “home is where the heart is” and “the hands that cradle the cot rock the world”.

The father and children of such a home are the MOST blessed souls in the world when there is a wise and diplomatic wife at the household. Her words are soothing in times of weariness and refreshing when one wakes up on the wrong side of the bed.

They could turn to her for words of advice or for second opinions.

Fathers should be treated as the head of households and be allowed to call the final shot if a compromise is difficult to come by. This will set examples for the children to emulate when they have their own families one day.

As the Chinese proverb says, jia he wan shi xing, which literally means that when there is harmony at home, every aspect of our lives will prosper.

That is something that every father wishes to have for himself and family but has always been elusive.

New models after new models have been launched but are often beyond their reach.

The high taxes have put many fathers in the “day-dreaming” gear and hopefully, the 20%-30% reduction in prices over a period of five years as promised by the Government can be shortened to say, two years so that a teacher like me can start saving from now on and be in time to pursue my dream of owning the Toyota Altis to replace the 13-year-old faithful Toyota Unser before the retirement.

Cheers to all fellow fathers on this coming Father’s Day!

TING LIAN LEE Johor Baru

Tuesday 21 May 2013

Mutual love and marry, so what?

Forty-year-old Riduan Masmud who allegedly had sex with a 13-year-old girl,
 KOTA KINABALU: He allegedly had sex with a 13-year-old girl and saw no wrong in it.

Riduan Masmud, the 40-year-old who shocked the nation after being charged with raping the minor and later declared that he had married her in the midst of the case, has opened up for the first time on why he decided to take the girl as his second wife.

The restaurant manager defended his action, saying it was a case of suka sama suka (mutual consent), adding that it was acceptable under Syariah law.

It could not be ascertained whether the girl met Riduan while she was at school or whether she had been working for him. She is from a very poor family.

As his rape case came up for mention at a Sessions Court yesterday, Riduan told reporters that he had known the girl for about six months and felt he had the right (to marry an underage girl).

“There are many cases of men marrying underage girls. I do not see why my case should be any different,“ said the father of four children, aged between two and 17. He declined to say if any of them is a girl.

Riduan was speaking to reporters outside the courtroom after Sessions Court Judge Ummu Khatom Abd Samad set July 1 to 4 to hear the case.

Judge Ummu Khatom gave the Attorney-General's Chambers until June 6 to make a decision on whether to proceed with the case.

Riduan was charged on Feb 28 with raping the girl inside a car parked by the roadside in Inanam near here at 10am on Feb 18.

On May 7, DPP Ahmad Nazmeen Zulkifli told the court he had no objection for the case to be withdrawn after the girl withdrew the rape report against the man April 18.

It is understood that it was the girl's aunt who lodged the police report after she found out about the “affair”.

The courtroom was packed yesterday with concerned groups turning up in full force. Many women interest groups and NGOs turned up for the hearing yesterday, including Befrienders Kota Kinabalu president Datuk Seri Siti Rubiah Abdul Samad, the wife of Foreign Minister Datuk Seri Anifah Aman.

All eyes were on the girl who appeared briefly in court. She has a childlike face, wore some make up, and tied up her long hair in a pony tail. Thin and looking under-developed, she was dressed in a T-shirt and jeans.

Riduan said he would let his child-wife finish her studies first and “maybe later take up a cosmetic course with my first wife”, adding that she was a make-up artist.

His wife also told the press that she had accepted the teenager to be her husband's second wife and promised to guide her through her studies.

However, Riduan stopped talking and moved away from the media when he was signalled by a lawyer not to talk.

The girl's father, who was also at the court, said he accepted his daughter's marriage to Riduan as they liked each other.

“It is best for her that they get married. What else can I do?” he added.

As the case came up for mention yesterday, DPP Chaw Siang Kong told the court that he needed time to review the case as it involved public interest.

Lawyers Datuk Mariati Robert and Mary Lee held watching briefs for Sabah Law Association and the Sabah Women Action Resource Group respectively.

Counsel Loretto J. Padua informed the court that the Syariah marriage certificates had been presented to the investigating officer and confirmed that the two were now married.

The court ordered that the man's RM8,000 bail be extended till June 6.

By STEPHANIE LEE and MUGUNTAN VANAR
newsdesk@thestar.com.my

Tuesday 5 February 2013

Missing girls found living with foreign boyfriends, Nepalese faces charge

Sisters were found living with a Nepali believed to be one of the girls' boyfriend

Safe and sound: Poh Fong (left) and Poh Choo being escorted to south Klang police headquarters. 

KLANG: Two teenage girls who were reported missing last Wednesday have been found.

Police found Chen Poh Choo, 15, and her sister Poh Fong, 13, at about 2pm in Taman Sentosa, living with a Nepali believed to be the boyfriend of one of the girls.

South Klang OCPD Asst Comm Mohamed Mat Yusop said the girls had been sent to hospital to receive medical attention. “It is not known yet why the girls left their home.

“We have yet to investigate the foreigner. Let the police investigate and avoid listening to hearsay,” he said, adding that the girls had records of skipping school in the past.

The girls, who were present at the news conference, shook their head in refusal when ACP Mohamed asked if they wanted to go home.

He added that the girls would either be spending the night at the hospital or at a shelter. Reporters were barred from speaking to the girls.

Poh Choo and Poh Fong were reported missing at midnight on Thursday after they were last seen at noon on Wednesday before they walked to school from their house in Pandamaran Jaya.

Outside the station, the girls' father, Chen Fook Chai, said he had yet to see his daughters.

“The police told me my daughters have been found but I have not met them,” he said.

He admitted that his girls had disciplinary problems in the past but denied abusing them.

“They skipped school and had some disciplinary issues but nothing serious,” Chen said.

According to a source, the Nepali was detained by the police at 5pm yesterday.

The man, in his 20s, was believed to be living alone at a shoplot in Taman Sentosa for the past few months. His job is, however, unknown.

- By A. Ruban/The Star

Nepalese may face rape charge

KLANG: A 32-year-old Nepalese man who allegedly had sex with one of the sisters reported missing is being investigated for statutory rape.

South Klang OCPD Asst Comm Mohamed Mat Yusop said medical examinations revealed signs of penetration on the older sister.

“We believe the 15-year-old girl had sex within the time she disappeared last Thurs­day,” he told reporters here yesterday.

“We have since arrested the man, believed to be her boyfriend”.

ACP Mohamed said he was a general worker at a shopping outlet in Klang and would be remanded for two weeks.

He will be investigated under the Immigrations Act and for statutory rape.

Police found the missing girls at the Nepalese’s house in Taman Sentosa here at 2pm on Monday following a tip-off.

ACP Mohamed said investigations revealed that the girls had run away to be with their boyfriends.

When contacted, the girls’ father said they were getting impatient and wanted to see their daughters.

“I just want to know when I can see them again,” he said. “My wife waited at the hospital until 1am (on Monday) to meet them.”

Despite the latest revelations, he did not believe that they ran away to stay with their boyfriends, and wanted to know where they went.

In a separate case, ACP Mohamed said a gang of four men broke into the house of a 30-year-old IT officer in Bukit Jati and robbed the family of four at knife point.

“The gang members wore masks, gloves and had machetes,” he said, adding that they gained entry by cutting through the kitchen grille at 3.45am on Monday.

They made off with RM2,000 cash, RM7,000 worth of jewellery, four mobile phones, three watches and one laptop, he said.

“At 3.45pm the same day, a team of policemen arrested an Indonesian man in front of a money changer in Taman Sri Andalas. He is suspected to be part of the gang,” he said.

Police are looking for the other three men and believe they are responsible for seven other robberies in Banting and Klang.

By SHAUN HO shaunh@thestar.com.my